I was very nervous days before the launch of my first book Clarity is Power. After all, I failed English in high school. Was the book too simple? Will there be errors? Will it add value? Or will people laugh?
It was nerve-wrecking following this dream that was in my heart. I felt called to do it; I felt that this was a co-creation together with Jesus. But what if I got so many bad remarks that it may tarnish not just my reputation, but His name?
Panic gripped me. I didn’t know what to do. Then I remembered Mary who sat at Jesus’ feet. But my heart was racing and I found it hard.
I knew I needed Jesus to calm that storm in my heart. Out of desperation, I took out the Jesus Words Meditation app (you can find it in google play) and started meditating, to try to calm down.
After the meditation, I decided to linger, sitting on my Pilates mat, and I asked Jesus out of desperation, “Help me!”
That was when I saw a vision of Jesus sitting next to me at a cafe. He held out His hand towards me. I put my hand in His and He transported me into the woods. He was walking in front. I saw myself like a little young girl, feeling free, dancing, prancing, skipping around and enjoying the walk. Finally, I caught up with Jesus and held His hand. He had a strong & warm, chiselled hand. I felt so safe.
He led me gently into an area where I saw a hut. Outside the hut was a tree stump which looked like a table. On it was some paper, colour pens and crayons. We sat down and I was so happy. I wanted to draw for Jesus.
So, I took the pens and paper, and drew the best I could, the way I knew how. It wasn’t pretty, but I did my best.
It was like the pictures my niece would draw for me. Stick figures, full of colour, nothing fancy. I remembered when my niece drew a picture for me to welcome me home to Singapore, I was so touched. I kept it! Here’s the picture that melted my heart. For those not from my culture, the words “Ah Yee” mean Aunt in Chinese. ☺
So in this vision, I dreamt that I drew something similar and handed it to Jesus. It was my expression of love for Him. I did the best I could, with what was there.
He took the picture with His strong hands and held it up. He looked at me with His handsome face and smiled so much, making the corners of His eyes wrinkle up with crow's feet. He said that He was proud of it and that He would paste it up so that He could see it often.
He said He would lift it up so that all can see how proud He is of me.
I felt happy and embarrassed at the same time. The picture was not very pretty. But hearing the words that Jesus spoke, I was comforted. I didn’t need to care what others think; I just need to know that He loves it. That is my gift, my effort of devotion to Him. I did my best, with what I had.
A few days later, my book was launched and it became an international bestseller in Australia and Germany in two days. This is nothing but the hand of Jesus. All glory and honour be to His name.
He used a girl like me, who failed English, a quiet introvert, and gave me success that I didn’t deserve.
From this, I learnt a few things. I hope to bring you along in a journey to create together with Jesus, with whatever you have, and most importantly, to know that He wants to sit next to you, to create with you. He is smiling with joy when you create for Him.
What I learnt from this vision was the following:
1. The little girl in my vision was dancing and skipping freely in the walk with Jesus.
I felt that this represented being free emotionally, mentally and spiritually in relationship with Jesus, not religion. It meant that we would find freedom in walking with Jesus, focusing on His companionship, His love and His leading, rather than focusing on the restrictions or obligations or wrong beliefs religion sometimes may bring. If we see loving suggestions from the Bible as a leash, obligation and have to, it can backfire.
The questions to ask yourself is, are you doing the things because you were told to or because you want to?
Is your action led by fear or by love?
The Bible asks us to stir up our gifts, and right after, it talks about God not giving us a spirit of fear… rather that of power, of love and or a sound mind. In some translations, it writes discipline instead of sound mind. Having a sound mind, having discipline lies on the foundation of love, of His power, not out of fear.
“Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Tim 1:6-7 (NKJV)
2. The little girl drew with what she had, the best she could.
In fact, it wasn’t even what she had; it was what was on the tree stump, what Jesus had provided for her. Perhaps you have big dreams for God but they were tucked away because you feel you don’t have what it takes.
My encouragement to you is that God will never call you to do things and not provide you with what’s necessary to fulfil them. Never despise the days of small beginnings, Zechariah 4:10 NLT says that God rejoices to see the work begin. We don’t have to seek perfection, we seek momentum.
As we start, God himself will propel us into momentum, into our greatness. Let us start with what we have and know that He is rejoicing with us. We can only offer to Him what we have and do our best. In the end, what we give to Him is never about the product; it is our devotion. Jesus has supplied everything we need to fulfil our dreams.
It doesn’t mean we don’t have a sense of excellence; we should always strive to do better. It’s about starting and being a good steward with what we already have, trusting Him to add more to it. He will gently give us space to grow.
“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.” Zechariah 4:10 NLT
3. Jesus took the picture and said He was proud of it.
Do you have dreams in your heart that seem so big that you think you were fantasizing? I did. Or are you too concerned about what others may think? I was. Writing and birthing the 2 books was a huge dream for me. By the grace of God, both books were published in less than 3 months apart. It all began when I turned on my laptop and started writing.
When I first started, I didn’t even dare to share with many friends because I feared their remarks. Fortunately, I had the guidance and support from the mentors and coaches who believed in me. If we see it as our full responsibility to bring it to pass, then it can create a lot of stress. If we see that Jesus is helping, that He Himself will sit next to us to guide us and lead us, it takes the stress off.
All we need to do is just start. If we let the fear of man cripple us, we may never step into our full destiny. After all, the only Person we need to please is Him. Do you see Him wanting to sit next to you, to create together with you? Do you see Him smiling when you present your best to Him?
I hope this encourages you in that we are all born to create beautiful things with Jesus. I hope you will place your hands in His strong warm hands and let Him hold you and guide you.
In my time of writing, I was drawn to spiritual heroes of the past and God unveiled my eyes on how He has used women even in the 19th and 20th centuries!
Did you know that it was a woman who fought to have bibles in schools in the United States? Did you know that it was a woman who first pioneered the use of modern media in church services to reach out to more people? She was also the first female radio evangelist and created her own radio station. She is Aimee Semple McPherson. She also built one of the largest mega churches in the United States. She started with $5000 and by the time the church was built, it was debt free. This was in the 1920s. She left a legacy.
It was also a woman who started the Pentecostal movement – her name is Maria Woodworth-Etter in the 1800s. It was a woman who started the first healing room in the United States, also in the 1800s. Her name is Carrie Judd Montogomery. They faced a lot more challenges as a woman than all of us today.
God uses women, mightily, beyond the kitchen, beyond motherhood, beyond the duties in the family, to achieve great things, things that moved and changed history.
How could these women do so much on their own? It began with a yes, a wiling heart, a courageous heart, to reach for her call, to step into her dreams.
Has God placed a seed in you that’s waiting to germinate and grow?
I believe He has.
Can I encourage you to simply just take the first step and watch Him shower you above and beyond all that you can ask, think or imagine? Find that clarity on who you are – His beloved. Find that clarity on who you can become – His Bride. Find the clarity on what you can create, then with Him by your side, step out in faith. Fan into flames what He has given you and watch it grow.
Remember, as you start birthing your dreams to life, don’t worry about the how.
Start with what you have, what you can and then let Him lead you into the next step. Focus on Jesus and let Him, your Husband, your Maker and your Provider, unfold and fulfil the dreams He Himself has placed in your heart in the first place.
You matter. Your dreams matter.
He loves you.
Ruth x
Note: this writing is adapted and taken from the book written for women, Clarity to Create: Transforming Burning Desires into Powerful Births. If you feel that there is more to your destiny, then this book is for you.
It is available for purchase on https://www.theclarityexpert.co/clarity-to-create-1.
For 4min video presentation of sister Aimee, please see http://bit.ly/sisterAimee
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Ruth Saw (MBA) is an international bestselling author, speaker and clarity expert. As a Gallup certified strengths coach, coupled with her corporate experience and training in bible college, she helps others step into their God-given destinies, through books, coaching, and workshops.
Now she’s on a mission to invite all women, to join her to dance with Jesus, to allow Him to lead and create with Jesus, to birth forth dreams that could change themselves and the world.
Instagram: ruthsawclarity
Facebook: ruthsawclarity
Youtube Channel: Ruth Saw - Clarity Expert
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