"Taking a Leap of Faith" by Carmel Austin

MY JOURNEY OF INFERTILITY

For decades now, I have journaled my thoughts, and prayers and have had it deep in my heart to share my journey of loss & grief to help other women feel they are not alone on their infertility journey. It has been quite the journey! With all the highs and lows of the hospital visits, and operations. I’ve felt poked and prodded way too much.

Walking through grief is never easy for anyone when you are faced with the reality that you will never hold your child in your arms on this earth, that hurts in places so deep in your heart that you feel like your heart has been punctured and you have a constant slow leak.

At times I felt like I am on the mountain top then the next minute, I was deep in the valley of despair.

As women, we can often think we are the only ones walking the road of grief which can cause a whole other syndrome of living with infertility as this can trap us in what seems like a parallel world.

I don't know about you, but for me, the Lord came to me in the 11th hour and asked me to take a leap of faith. It was when I was at a crossroads when God turned up in my life and spoke clearly to me about the next step I was to take.

When I was feeling somewhat disappointed and desperate about the dreams I have in my heart thinking they are never going to happen, that’s when the heavens rolled back and an Angel declared my destiny! It was as awesome as when a baby is born!

I had to put my hand to the plow and work towards my goals and dreams in life. I decided to trust that when the Lord asks me to make a 90-degree turn, I will believe knowing that he has my destiny in his hands and only goodness is in the agenda.

Letting go of my desire to birth my own children and realizing that this does not define me as a woman helped me focus on my other God-given talents. It has given me the courage to write my story and help others draft their story with ease and grace. I started to share parts of myself with the world when my story was published. This maybe the beginning of my journey of becoming a #1 International Bestselling Author & Speaker; something I have always dreamt of for decades.

MY JOURNEY AS AN AUTHOR

My journey of infertility has allowed me to explore other areas of my life that have brought fulfillment to me. I have applied my sewing skills and created artworks. Expressing this side of myself has given me the courage to have a grateful heart and stay balanced and whole.

For now, I am focusing on my creativity and expressing myself through my art and writing.

Growing up in a multicultural home in the Western Suburbs of Sydney had its challenges.

My school life was never easy. I had a lot to overcome each day to survive and I had to always ask for extra help to achieve my goals and perform well with my studies when my friends seemed to breeze through with theirs. I found I gravitated to things that came more naturally to me like my artwork, sewing, studying, history, and exploring other cultures. These have always been on my bucketlist as I grew up in a multicultural home.

I remembered a dream I had when I was a young girl. I dreamed about traveling the world as a singer in a rock band as well as being a mum and a homemaker. I had an ardent desire to raise my children in a loving family and to give them all my love and the best opportunities in life.

At the tender age of Sixteen I met my husband Wayne. We were married when I was nineteen. Our life together has brought a lot of paths where we had to overcome disappointments, including how we would approach our desire to be parents. In addition, I seem to always be dealing with health issues while trusting that life will work out for the best. I have always kept my heart pure and my role as a housewife a privilege as I go through challenges and hurdles over the years.

Pursuing my entrepreneurial journey as a businesswoman is also a blessing.

I thought these were all what God has for me! But with God, I believe the best is yet to come!

In 2014, I traveled to Sydney to attend a writing seminar with a friend. Arriving all excited at the event, I quickly realized I only had some ideas such as interviewing friends and clients and encouraging them to share their life stories in my book. The time away rekindled the flame inside of me to write and publish my story. I just needed to find my path.