MY JOURNEY OF INFERTILITY
For decades now, I have journaled my thoughts, and prayers and have had it deep in my heart to share my journey of loss & grief to help other women feel they are not alone on their infertility journey. It has been quite the journey! With all the highs and lows of the hospital visits, and operations. I’ve felt poked and prodded way too much.
Walking through grief is never easy for anyone when you are faced with the reality that you will never hold your child in your arms on this earth, that hurts in places so deep in your heart that you feel like your heart has been punctured and you have a constant slow leak.
At times I felt like I am on the mountain top then the next minute, I was deep in the valley of despair.
As women, we can often think we are the only ones walking the road of grief which can cause a whole other syndrome of living with infertility as this can trap us in what seems like a parallel world.
I don't know about you, but for me, the Lord came to me in the 11th hour and asked me to take a leap of faith. It was when I was at a crossroads when God turned up in my life and spoke clearly to me about the next step I was to take.
When I was feeling somewhat disappointed and desperate about the dreams I have in my heart thinking they are never going to happen, that’s when the heavens rolled back and an Angel declared my destiny! It was as awesome as when a baby is born!
I had to put my hand to the plow and work towards my goals and dreams in life. I decided to trust that when the Lord asks me to make a 90-degree turn, I will believe knowing that he has my destiny in his hands and only goodness is in the agenda.
Letting go of my desire to birth my own children and realizing that this does not define me as a woman helped me focus on my other God-given talents. It has given me the courage to write my story and help others draft their story with ease and grace. I started to share parts of myself with the world when my story was published. This maybe the beginning of my journey of becoming a #1 International Bestselling Author & Speaker; something I have always dreamt of for decades.
MY JOURNEY AS AN AUTHOR
My journey of infertility has allowed me to explore other areas of my life that have brought fulfillment to me. I have applied my sewing skills and created artworks. Expressing this side of myself has given me the courage to have a grateful heart and stay balanced and whole.
For now, I am focusing on my creativity and expressing myself through my art and writing.
Growing up in a multicultural home in the Western Suburbs of Sydney had its challenges.
My school life was never easy. I had a lot to overcome each day to survive and I had to always ask for extra help to achieve my goals and perform well with my studies when my friends seemed to breeze through with theirs. I found I gravitated to things that came more naturally to me like my artwork, sewing, studying, history, and exploring other cultures. These have always been on my bucketlist as I grew up in a multicultural home.
I remembered a dream I had when I was a young girl. I dreamed about traveling the world as a singer in a rock band as well as being a mum and a homemaker. I had an ardent desire to raise my children in a loving family and to give them all my love and the best opportunities in life.
At the tender age of Sixteen I met my husband Wayne. We were married when I was nineteen. Our life together has brought a lot of paths where we had to overcome disappointments, including how we would approach our desire to be parents. In addition, I seem to always be dealing with health issues while trusting that life will work out for the best. I have always kept my heart pure and my role as a housewife a privilege as I go through challenges and hurdles over the years.
Pursuing my entrepreneurial journey as a businesswoman is also a blessing.
I thought these were all what God has for me! But with God, I believe the best is yet to come!
In 2014, I traveled to Sydney to attend a writing seminar with a friend. Arriving all excited at the event, I quickly realized I only had some ideas such as interviewing friends and clients and encouraging them to share their life stories in my book. The time away rekindled the flame inside of me to write and publish my story. I just needed to find my path.
In 2019, Father God once again reminded me about sharing my adventures in a creative way of writingThis time I dug deeper with my limited skills and started writing with a little help from a friend. In mid-2020, I decided to invest in myself and enroll in an online coaching course with a Christian company.
I took a step of faith and invested my time and money and became a certified Wholeness Coach. I knew I had a lot more to do on this earth including my business, Carmel's Garden. In 2021, my leap of faith paid off as I became a # 1 International Bestselling Author and enjoyed co-authoring my book, Just Say No.
Women around the world joined hands with me and together we shared our journey into wholeness.. Through this experience, I was offered my own TV & Podcast show, “The Thriving Woman.”
“Adventure” was the word the Lord gave me in 2021. It sure has been an adventure. I kept on growing and learning as I have continued climbing my mountain of faith and self-belief.
MY JOURNEY OF LOSING A LOVED ONE
Sadly, shortly after my book was published my dad became very unwell and passed away quickly. I was devastated and felt unsure about what I was going to do.
During those moments, I felt God whisper in my heart, “Well done, good and faithful daughter. You have served your family well.”
This gave me great peace knowing that I had served my dad well and carried out the promise my sisters and I had made to our mum when she passed away 6 years ago; that we would look after our dad. Dad was a very caring, fun-loving father who always put his family first. I had the pleasure of being his baby girl and I loved spending time with him. I will miss him forever here on this earth but I am confident that he is with a family in heaven.
When dad passed I decided to take time out to pray, grieve and rest. This took me on a path of searching for significance and wondering what my life was going to look like now that I don’t have my earthly dad. I felt I had to lean into heaven and allow Father God's love to wash over me.
MY JOURNEY AS A WHOLENESS WRITING COACH
One of my dreams in life is to champion the voices of women to share their stories to bring encouragement to others and let women across the world know they are not alone.
As a Wholeness Writing Coach, my job is to help women’s voices be heard. I teach my clients skills and strategies they need to improve their lives , to share their stories and to have their testimonies be published internationally. What amazes me the most is that the Lord is birthing multiple books in me as I co-author with other women and share different facets of my life story!
Now, I have the privilege of being the Visionary of the International Book Project 'The Artist Haven.' I am partnering with co-authors around the globe as we unite our voices together and share our stories to help others in their journey of life.
If you are an artist, writer, or anyone who has a specific creative skill and would like to share your dreams in your heart on an International Stage, I invite you to partner with me to make it a reality! Let's make time to meet online.! I am here to champion you on your path to self-discovery and bring out the best in your season!
As I continue climbing my mountain of faith, I discovered many other facets about my business. This led me to pray for someone who can assist me with daily tasks so I can focus on writing and coaching. Once again, at the 11th hour, the Lord came and picked me up and saved me from falling into what felt like a deep pit of despair and disappointment.
I took another leap of faith to hire a virtual assistant believing that we would work well together as she understands my heart and vision. By God’s grace, she has lifted a burden off my shoulder as she has faithfully been doing the work delegated to her.
I continued to allow God to mature and expand my territory. Like a woman who is birthing a baby in the natural world, I am birthing books in the natural world as well as helping others grow spiritually as a mentor and coach.
I consider being a wholeness coach a privilege. I get to help others share their stories in a larger audience. It also gives me time to pursue my artistic abilities. Life is too short to hide your talents under a bush, and you never really come into your true God-given identity if you allow the hurts of the past to cloud your vision of the present.
You may think, “My time has passed, my kids are all grown, and I have too much white hair to make a difference.” Well, let me tell you now, with experience comes great wisdom and with great wisdom comes the responsibility to share your story to help the younger generation. As we stand shoulder to shoulder, we will make the right changes for the next generation to come.
Along with go-getting, I am also learning to practice the discipline of pausing to jot new ideas down before I lose them. I also stop to take time to pull away from others' belief systems and ways of thinking and follow my dreams and see them come true. As I allow the free expression of my creativity, I am seeing my dreams come to life on paper. I am also trying to helpothers find their purpose and peace on their journey.
You may think to yourself, I am not good at expressing myself in writing. I would like to say to you, Life is too short to allow your fears of the unknown to stop you from going after the dreams in your heart!
MY HEALTH JOURNEY AS A YOUNG CHILD
As a young girl, I struggle with dyslexia. I had a difficult time expressing myself especially in spelling and writing. I went through kindergarten two times, and when I was in 5th grade, I had to go back to the same class with the same teacher for 3 consecutive years because back in those days the education system did not understand my learning challenges.
I suffered at the hands of teachers, priests, and leaders in my community as well as my peers and classmates because I was different and emotional. I felt like I carried my heart on my sleeve as a young child trying to fit into what seemed like a cruel and harsh world where I felt misunderstood and alone.
Recently, I was sitting pondering my life and the condition of my health. I was asking Father God why my health was so bad again. I was taken back to an event when I was four years old when my family had traveled down to Kiama at 4 am with our neighbors who had a boat.
One day on that trip, I was sitting at the edge of the boat ramp and then the next minute I found myself in the water. My lungs were filling up with water and I can picture myself underwater and not coming up. Then suddenly, a hand reached down and pulled me out. It was Percy, my neighbor's brother. He saw me go under and I did not come up so he rescued me. I nearly died that day and I realized that a lot of my health issues started after that incident.
During the same year, my Mum told me I put on weight and that contributed to my health problems as well., I also developed a bad skin condition and suffered fromstomach issues when I was 10 years old.
Mum and I spent many hours going to different doctors, trying out diets to correct my health issues with little luck. I have one very clear memory as a ten-year-old visiting a specialist who recommended using a medicated shampoo on my skin to help my rash and it worked!
I nearly died again that same year! I was eating peanuts and started choking. My uncle helped open my airways, by lifting my arms so I could breathe.
MY JOURNEY TOWARDS HEALING AND WELLNESS
Fast forward to 2021. After feeling pressure from my peers, and the government against my better judgment, I had the COVID-19 vaccine. The main reason was that my dear dad was residing in a nursing home at the time and I was not allowed to visit him without having the vaccine. I tried my best to speak with my doctor about my concern about having the vaccine and my health issues, but he felt that I should be ok.
Well, I ended up having to see my doctor as my body had a terrible reaction from the vaccine. Now 12 months later, I have chest issues and a very low immune system. Recently I had to use an asthma spray to stop me from vomiting from what seemed like an horrendous build-up of junk in my chest.
You may be wondering to yourself, “Why is she saying all this?”
Because of this, I’ve realized that the vaccine has unearthed my health issues as well as some major trauma in my life when I nearly died. But neither my health or my trauma get the final say.
For me, it can be months without any issues, and then stress can trigger me into having to climb that mountain of faith again. I need to learn how to balance my health and emotions. I also need to take the time to reset healthy boundaries in my life. I can’t with my own strength, but God can. And He did!
Ladies, what the enemy planned for evil, The Lord is using to bring healing in my life. He is giving me the keys to overcome these challenges! I am not saying my health is perfect as of now, but GOD.
I am now turning a corner as I rest and take time to restore my soul. My body is healing. God has shown me how to overcome the triggers that past trauma has opened . As we take time to ask the Lord to heal our soul and spirit, our body will also come into alignment.
It is okay to take time out to rest and heal when you feel like life is throwing you curveballs and you have some health issues that bring along emotional challenges. we have a loving Father in heaven who is watching over us. We can trust Him.
Personally, I think my angels have been in overdrive looking after me lately, but man I am grateful for his protection as I walk out my days resting in his healing and strength.
Ladies, I want to encourage you to not give up on your dreams.
Express yourself from your God-given identity, and take the time to look after yourself along the way. Life is precious and we are all a work in progress.
Thanks for taking the time to read my story. I would love to hear from you and chat with you about how I can help with your journey. “My heart is to uplift and encourage women and families to take steps towards their self-esteem and care each day.
I enjoy following the Lord's leading by sharing my voice to help others journey into wholeness and create a platform to help them write their story and have it published.
Carmel.
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Entrepreneur, Carmel Austin
Wholeness Coach, #1 International Bestselling Author, and Founder of Carmel's Garden
Download my free gift: 5 steps to move from Surviving to Thriving in Every Season of life.
Purchase my book “Just Say No: 14 Transformational Keys to Establishing Healthy Boundaries in Business and Relationships."
Connect with me: @carmelsgardenwholenesscoach @carmelsgarden
Carmel is a Wholeness Coach #1 International Bestselling Author. Who helps women flourish by sharing keys to Journey into Wholeness.
Being married young, Carmel expected to raise a family. Instead, she endured many years of heartbreak. She discovered she was unable to raise her own children on this earth. Always carrying hope in her heart knowing they have grown up in heaven.
Carmel found herself reaching out and nurturing young women in life. Connecting with them over a cup of tea. While folding their washing, she learned to share her life in a different way.
She used her natural instincts as a caregiver by pouring her life into women and their children. She has come alongside women as a mother figure, helping them find peace and balance in life.
For more than 30 years Carmel has been a healthy influencer to others and a friend to the lonely. Her husband has been a stable source of encouragement as she reached out to help them.
He smiles and encourages her when she is doing what comes naturally... being a woman of Influence. Helping them shine by finding their voice. She is determined to change the future for the good by sharing their Story.
God called Carmel to travel to Israel in 2010 where her business Carmel’s Garden, was birthed. Her vision has expanded, as she shared her life with many more people. Who have all become Beautiful Flowers in her Garden.
She continues to share her Wisdom and Insight. And has a burning passion to see women become whole and live life from their authentic selves.
Carmel loves cooking, sewing, painting, and creating new things. She loves to share her many skills with family and friends. Her Mother’s Heart is very full.
She now lives out her purpose with vision and passion. Teaching women new facets of self-care. On how to thrive and grow in their God-given identity.
Wayne and Carmel have been married for 37 years and enjoy camping together and taking walks on the beach. They now have many adopted families who come from different walks of life. Who proudly calls her ‘mum’ and ‘nanna’.
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